


Will your mouth still remember the taste of my ass

by like



Category: South Park
Genre: #bros, Aged-Up Character(s), Chatting & Messaging, M/M, Memes, not explicitly stated but they're all in their early twenties-ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 09:10:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14734127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/like/pseuds/like
Summary: -do you like it?-NO?-why not he’s so handsome-WHY DID YOU SEND ME A THANOS NUDE-technically it’s not entirely a nude he’s still got a shirt on





	Will your mouth still remember the taste of my ass

**Author's Note:**

> uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhgughgughughughg sorry i'm postign this twice ao3 just cut it in half the first time i tried to post it i hope this time it works  
> anyway  
> don't expect this to be good it's just memes and rimming jokes  
> italigized is clyde and bolded is whoever is talking to atm  
> +sorry the emojis are like that apparently you can't add actual emojis to ao3 fics :'(

_craig_

_dude_

_has token always been this hot_

_craig this is important_

_craig_

_craig why aren’t you replying_

_CRAIG PLEASE_

_CRAIG_

 

**dude i’m busy**

 

_too busy to help me? :(_

 

**uh… yeah**

 

_c’mon man please_

_i’m your bro_

_you gotta help your bro_

 

**no i don’t**

 

_yeah man. you gotta. it’s the law. bro law._

 

**please picture me rolling my eyes to further understand the tone of the following messages**

 

_got it_

 

**yeah clyde. what happened. what’s the problem. please share**

 

_token_

_hot_

 

**yeah?**

 

_yeah_

 

**you never noticed?**

 

_i’m sorry we can’t all be gay, craig_

 

**being gay has nothing to do with appreciating aesthetic attributes**

 

_well yeah but_

_he’s bangable hot_

 

**……………..**

 

_you know_

_like_

_i wanna bang him_

 

**i did not need to know that**

 

_yeah you did. so you can understand the situation help your cherished bro better._

 

**remind me again why am i doing this**

**oh yeah. fake bro law**

 

_*gasp*!!!!! the bro law isn’t fake!!!!!!!! it’s as real as our broship_

 

**so. fake**

 

_i will sneak into your house and put toothpaste in all your shoes if you ever say something like that again_

 

**noted**

**so**

**you wanna bang token?**

 

_yeah_

 

**cool**

**do it**

 

_what_

 

**do it man. i’m 100% behind you**

**and if you don’t chicken out, he will be 100% behind you too**

 

_i’m buying toothpaste as we speak_

 

**what why i didn’t say anything about our broship this time**

 

_true_

_but don’t push me any further_

 

**i’ll do whatever i please**

 

_i know what you’re gonna say next_

_don’t say it_

_don’t say it_

 

**kinda like how token will do whatever he pleases to you**

 

_don’t say it_

_FUCK_

 

**:)**

 

_you will die in 10 days_

 

**yeah**

 

* * *

 

_hey dude :D_

 

**oh hey clyde**

 

_what’s up!!_

 

**nothing much, how about you?**

 

_same same. whatcha up to?_

 

**homework and stuff**

**you?**

 

_just chilling yknow_

 

_so token_

 

**yeah?**

 

_do you wanna uh_

_um_

 

**this is a typed conversation why are you typing “uh” and “um”**

 

_oh you know_

 

**...no i don’t?**

 

_yeah_

_so_

_uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh_

_did you see infinity war_

 

**yeah**

 

 _ok cool check this out_ [attached file: [ big_butt_thanos.png ](https://78.media.tumblr.com/47c59ec6037e7ba78f3d5e2b162be5d0/tumblr_messaging_p95joio0qB1tb7v0a_1280.jpg)]

 

**ok give me a sec**

 

**DUDE**

 

_do you like it?_

 

**NO?**

 

_why not he’s so handsome_

 

**WHY DID YOU SEND ME A THANOS NUDE**

 

_technically it’s not entirely a nude he’s still got a shirt on_

 

**clyde**

 

_yeah_

 

**never send that to me again**

**or anyone, for that matter**

 

_:(_

_why not?_

 

**i did not want to see thanos’ butt. i could’ve gone on living without seeing it for sure**

 

_smh what a coward._

 

**not a coward. a normal person**

 

_s m h_

 

* * *

 

_craig i fucked up_

 

**what a surprise**

 

[attached file: [ toothpaste_(2)870.jpg ](http://ethosorthodontics.com.au/client-uploads/blog/toothpaste_\(2\)870.jpg)]

 

**go on**

 

_so i sent token a meme, bc that’s how you woo people, right?_

 

**no**

 

_and he didn’t like it!!!!! :( he told me not to send it to him again!!!!! :(_

_wait what do you mean no_

 

**dude.**

 

_what_

 

**did you seriously try to woo token………………….. with a meme**

 

_yeah?_

 

**oh my god**

 

_you woo tweek with lolcats all the time_

 

**that’s because lolcats are cute you asswipe**

 

_they’re also very outdated if you ask me :/_

 

**good thing i’m not asking you then**

**just. what meme did you send. was it bad**

 

_i dunno man i thought it was pretty funny_

_it was this one_ [attached file: [ big_butt_thanos.png ](https://78.media.tumblr.com/47c59ec6037e7ba78f3d5e2b162be5d0/tumblr_messaging_p95joio0qB1tb7v0a_1280.jpg)]

 

**if you ever show me that image again i will steal all your teeth and light your feet on fire**

 

_what if that’s my fetish_

 

**i know it’s not. you told me your fetishes. you said it was an important bro ritual or some shit. i never needed to know any of that**

 

_yeah you did. bros need to know about their bros’ fetishes craig_

 

**they really don’t????????????????**

**you’ve been typing for awhile now and i’m scared**

**clyde**

 

_what if one day we’re both single and horny and have to please each other. how would you know what to do if i never told you my fetishes. you’d be lost. all alone in the dark and cold with no one to help you. all because you decided you don’t wanna know my fetishes when i gave you the chance to know them._

 

**how poetic. is that shakespear?**

 

_it’s shakespeare you dumb fucking egg_

 

**not all of us can be theatre kids you shitbag**

**also didn’t you say you’re not gay like yesterday**

 

_yeah_

 

**what suddenly changed**

 

_i dunno i looked at token and he was hot_

 

**what was so different about him**

 

_uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh_

_idk_

_he looked manlier than usual idk_

 

**i literally expected you to say “he was wearing makeup” or any other feminine thing so you can keep on the straight shtick for a little longer**

 

_nah i’m done with that phase. from now on i’m not straight_

 

**cool. so you’re gay?**

 

_nah girls are hot dude_

 

**bi?**

 

_i dunno._

_wait_

_if i’m bi_

_then that means_

_wait lemme find the thing_

 

**……...where are you going with that………**

 

[attached file: [ bi-bi-bi-bisexual.gif ](https://m0.joe.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/17184109/bi-bi-bi-bisexual.gif)]

_it’s me :D_

 

**die**

 

_don’t you mean die die die?_

 

[You cannot send messages to this user. Click [ here ](https://naijaknowhow.com.ng/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/how-to-unblock-yourself-on-whatsapp.jpg) to see why]

 

* * *

 

_jimmy my man_

 

**oh hey clyde sup**

 

_you’re good at wooing people right_

 

**i’d like to believe i am**

 

_how do i woo this very beautiful person whom i’d really like to bang but like also hold their hand and go on dates with them and give them forehead kisses and lots of love and stuff_

 

**and stuff**

 

_yeah stuff_

 

**well gee whiz clyde, i’m not sure, but it sounds like you’re real deep by now. maybe you should just follow your gut?**

 

_already did that_

_let’s just say it didn’t exactly work out_

 

**did you send them an uncomfortable meme**

 

_no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_yes_

 

**god damnit**

**okay so first thing you gotta do is apologize for that uncomfortable meme**

 

_got it_

 

**and then try to strike conversations. not flirty ones yet, just casual ones.**

 

_okay_

 

**then when you get a bit closer start flirting with them**

 

_wait_

_what if we’re already kind of close?_

 

**you can skip to the flirting step then**

**start small though**

**don’t overwhelm them with flirting just yet**

 

_how do i do that_

_like_

_what counts as small_

 

**just compliment them for a bit**

**make some jokes with a slight sexual feel but not ones directed at them**

**just slightly sexual**

**not about them.**

 

_you know damn well i have never made a funny joke ever in my life_

 

**google?**

 

_google sucks_

 

**well. use something from it. and if they laugh that means they’re into you too probably**

 

_what do you mean?_

 

**if the joke really is bad, but they still laugh, they probably like you too**

**they wouldn’t have a reason to laugh if they didn’t**

 

_:O that’s so clever!!!!!!!!_

 

**thank you i know**

 

_thanks jimmy i’m gonna try it now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

 

**good luck out there, cowboy**

 

* * *

 

_hey tolen_

_tokken_

_tooken_

_yoken_

 

**yes clyde?**

 

_tokeen_

_token_

_oh you answered_

_sorry my new phone’s keyboard is kicking my ass lmao_

 

**want me to kiss it better?**

 

_haha yeah sure_

_WAIT WHAT_

 

**i’m joking man**

 

_oh okay_

_so_

_what do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates?_

 

**clyde donovan**

 

_a tearjerker_

_WHAT_

_WHAT THE FUCK_

_OUCH?_

 

**i’m joking again dude**

 

_IT WAS ONLY LIKE ONE TIME_

_oh okay cool_

 

**did it seriously happen to you before**

 

_that’s not the matter of discussion for today._

 

**it is now**

**why did you cry when you jacked off**

 

_what if i don’t wanna tell you_

 

**you do. because you’re an exhibitionist.**

 

_HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT_

 

**craig told me**

 

_what a fucking cockmuppet_

 

**yeah he kind of is**

  1. **tell me**



 

_no man i don’t think you wanna know this anyway_

 

**no i’m too curious to let it go now**

 

_you will regret it_

 

**yeah probably**

**tell me!!**

 

_*heavy sigh* ok so_

 

**this is a typed conversation**

 

_*HEAVY SIGH* OK SO_

_did craig tell you about any of my other kinks or_

 

**don’t change the subject**

**and yeah he just showed me the overly detailed chart you sent him**

 

_remind me to put ice cubes down his shirt the next time i see him_

_also_

_i’m not changing the subject_

 

**wym**

 

_you know_

 

**what**

**oh**

**OH**

 

_yeah_

 

**DUDE**

 

_overstim is cool ok_

 

**oh i thought you were talking about the humiliation thing**

 

_NO I WASN’T TALKING ABOUT THE HUMILIATION THING_

_HOW CAN I HUMILIATE MYSELF JACKING OFF ANYWAY_

 

**i dunno you’re the one who’s into it you should know**

 

_that’s fair_

 

**i aint judging btw**

 

_wym?_

 

**your kinks**

**it’s cool**

**everyone has those**

 

_even you?_

 

**yeah even me**

 

_woah_

_can you tell me them?_

 

**absolutely not**

 

_can i send you a nifty chart to fill out?_

 

**i cannot believe we are having this conversation**

 

_you’re the one who started it by asking about my maturbation shenaningans_

 

**you’re the one who started it by sending this joke in the first place**

 

_._

 

**what**

 

_i’m just angry and don’t have anything to say to refute what you said bc it’s true_

 

**ha**

 

_oh btw_

 

**?**

 

_did you laugh at it_

 

**at what**

 

_the joke_

 

**a little i guess**

 

_really? :’D_

 

**where are you going with this…….**

 

_your bed, hopefully_

 

**HELLO?**

 

_;)_

 

**hey clyde i have a joke too**

 

_slightly scared but go on_

 

**what do noodles and clyde have in common**

 

_tasty_

 

**both wiggle when you eat them**

**oh damn your punch line is also good**

 

_thanks_

_WAIT_

 

**;)**

 

_WHAT DID YOU MEAN_

_TOKEN_

_TOKEN WHERE DID YOU GO_

_TOKEN_

_TOKEN DON’T GO OFFLINE ON ME NOW THIS IS A SERIOUS MATTER_

_IF YOU WANNA EAT MY ASS DO IT MAN_

_TOKENNNNNNNNNNNNNN_

 

**dude relax i just went to brush my teeth**

 

_oh ok_

 

**would i have to do it again later then?**

 

_TOKEN,_

 

**:stuck_out_tongue::ok_hand:**

 

_AM I DREAMING_

 

**nah**

 

_T O K E N_

 

**yes**

 

_are you serious_

 

**depends**

 

_on what_

 

**if i was the person you asked jimmy for help wooing**

 

_oh shit he told you too? what a dickmuncher_

 

**well to be fair he didn’t know you were talking about me**

 

_oh true. i take my dickmunchering back then_

 

**so**

**was i?**

 

_depends_

 

**on what?**

 

_if you wanna do all these things i told jimmy i want to do_

 

**oh yeah def**

 

_cool_

_are you free this saturday?_

 

**sure**

 

_i’m taking you on the most romantic date then_

 

**please don’t say taco bell**

 

_wtf dude no. i’m taking you to my room so we can watch cartoons and make out_

 

**oh**

**that sounds nice**

 

_really?_

 

**yeah?**

 

_oh thank god i was scared you’d be disappointed_

 

**why would i be disappointed**

 

_bc it’s not fancy? idk date standards_

 

**dude idc about fancy. anything can be awesome when it’s with you**

 

_aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw <3 _

_wait so_

_why did you say no about taco bell_

 

**bc then i won’t be able to execute my plans**

 

_what plans_

 

**:stuck_out_tongue::ok_hand:**

 

_OH_

_yeah that truly would be a shame_

 

  1. **saturday?**



**i’ll be there at 3**

 

_cool. yeah. nice. ok. good_

 

**see you then?**

 

_wait wait wait token i have a question_

 

**yeah?**

 

_why didn’t you like my meme if you like me?_

 

**take a wild fucking guess dude**

 

_you think thanos is a top?_

 

**take a mild fucking guess dude**

 

_you don’t like seeing big bad villains you don’t even like a bit all bare assed on your screen?_

 

**there you go**

 

_so it doesn’t have anything to do with me right?_

 

**nah**

 

_good good._

_are you sure?_

 

 **clyde**.

 

_yeah okay sorry_

_see you on saturday then :point_right::kissing_heart::point_right:_

 

**or you know**

**tomorrow**

**i’m free then too**

 

_oh neat me too_

_i’m actually free right now too_

 

**it’s past midnight?**

 

_yeah_

 

**yeah okay i’m coming**

 

_hopefully you’ll say that later tonight again_

 

**woah dude don’t use jokes like that on me. i’m the obvious top here**

 

_we’ll see about that_

 

* * *

 

_craig my ass hurts_

 

**i thought i blocked you?**

 

_it resets after 24 hours_

 

**damn.**

**oh i forgot to ask**

 

_yeah?_

 

**where did you even see token when you said he looked all manly and hotter**

 

_oh good question!_

_saw him naked in the dressing room_

 

**what.**

 

_yeah his towel fell_

 

**and THAT’S what made him seem manlier than usual to you?**

 

_probably_

 

**bullshit**

 

_what do you mean >:( _

 

**you always had a crush on him man it was obvious. now you just saw his dick and wanted more**

 

_did not!!!!!!_

 

[attached file: [ press-x-to-doubt_419-238.jpg ](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/mobile/000/023/021/e02e5ffb5f980cd8262cf7f0ae00a4a9_press-x-to-doubt-memes-memesuper-la-noire-doubt-meme_419-238.jpg)]

 

_hey don’t use memes on me that’s my thing_

 

**not anymore**

**wait so why does you ass hurt**

 

_guess_

 

**did you finger yourself w/out lube again**

 

_no man i learned my lesson about that like years ago_

 

**true but you always seem to surprise me with your mishaps somehow**

 

_mishaps_

 

**yeah mishaps**

 

_weird word_

 

**yeah ig**

**so why DOES your ass hurt?**

 

_oh you know_

 

**i can assure you i don’t**

**wait**

**wait.**

**WAIT.**

 

_;)_

 

**congrats man i’m proud of you**

 

_thanks_

 

**now jimmy is the only straight one in our group**

 

[attached file: [ is_he_though_thor.gif ](https://media1.tenor.com/images/94c84d42923c835921ce5ae291724f74/tenor.gif?itemid=11411653)]

 

**yeah true**

**godo luck with your new bf dude**

 

_woah bf? we’re not that far yet you know_

 

**yeah you are**

 

_yeah we are_

 

**glad that’s settled**

**go suck his dick some more then**

 

_ok_

 

**i was joking but you know what. go for it. i support your dick sucking. be free my not straight child**

 

_i’m older than you_

 

**not straight child**

 

_did you change my contact name to that_

 

**maybe**

 

_yeah okay i can live with that_

 

**and with token’s dick up your ass**

 

_DUDE_

_i wish_

 

**of course you do**

**my little baby all gayed up and bottoming**

 

_still older than you_

 

**i am sheding tears of pride as we speak**

 

_this is a typed conversation_

 

**did token steal your phone**

 

_aw i’ve been found_

_how’s it going craig_

 

**same old same old. how’s the wife and kids?**

 

_whining about me stealing his phone_

 

**as expected**

**yo token i’ve got smth to say**

 

_yeah man?_

 

**don’t hurt him, ok?**

**i know i usually don’t go with all that bro stuff but like. he’s still my best friend and i don’t wanna see him get hurt. so don’t hurt him. ok? if you do i’ll have to kill you and that sucks bc you’re cool**

 

_i won’t hurt him_

_you can trust me_

 

**good**

**good talk man**

 

_yeah good talk_

_should i give clyde his phone back?_

 

**just delete my message first i don’t want clyde to bother me abt that**

 

_too late he already read them from behind my shoulder_

_AAAAAAAAAAAAW CRAIGY YOU DO CARE <3 _

 

**if you ever call me craigy again i will dress you as lettuce and feed you to snails**

 

_kind of sexy of you to say that_

 

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**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry if the end feels dragged out i couldn't think of a fitting ending so i kept writing more till i got to something i could tolerate and it ended up being the oneshot equivilant of an anime filler episode


End file.
